Restructuring Day

What did I feel when I found out it was me?

Relief.

I finally knew.  After months of uncertainty and anxiety, it was good to finally know.

What else did I feel?

Shock.

I had thought it could be me; it's different when it is actually me.

Sadness.

I was going to miss my co-workers, all of whom were shocked and dismayed.

Happy.

I hadn't been happy for a while, and now I was free.  It felt strange to be happy.  Was it shock? Was it related to the relief? Either way, I was actually happy.

A bit Fearful.

What were the terms - severance (provided I signed a full release), and the company would pay the health care premiums under COBRA for a few months.  Overall, it wasn't a bad package.  The only thing I was really worried about was health care.

The Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act (COBRA) would allow me to get coverage under the company's group health plan for a limited period of time, around 18 months after termination.  Generally, COBRA applies only under certain circumstances such as voluntary or involuntary job loss, reduction in the hours worked, transition between jobs, and other life events.   While I would still get access to health benefits, I would be responsible for paying the full premium.  It was really expensive.  While I always had to pay a contribution, it was shocking to see what the full premium would be.  This was when the fear started to creep in.  After the company paid period expired, what would I do?